By Plane or By Car?
Have you seen X lately?
Some people complain about riding in a car on vacation. They groan when they hear about the time it will take to get to where the vacation begins. They’d much rather hop a flight and be at their destination in what seems a trice.
I suspect they may be suffering from the “halo effect,” like mothers after labor and delivery who are eager to do it all again. These frequent flyers forget the hassle of getting to the airport, parking, checking in, going through TSA—shoes on or off—waiting for the flight to arrive—or be delayed, and sitting next to a stranger with all the possibilities that can bring. Have you seen the crazy airline passengers on X lately? How about watching strangers get bent out of shape over something small, like the serious crime of standing up too soon. Yep, it happens! The last time I flew, a guy across the aisle threatened to punch out an elderly man who began to queue up as soon as the seatbelt sign went off. Really!
Nope, flying’s not my preferred travel mode. With the right car and the right driver, I can travel all day for as many days as required.
I do have some stipulations, though. Doesn’t everyone?
First, the car has to be clean. No pet hair or chunks of mud left over from a recent trip to the farm. No stray crayons that might melt onto my clothes or backseat gear from the high temps that vacay destinations often boast. Nothing sticky, either. And no eating in the car unless it is a critical blood sugar issue or we’re caught in a deluge and have to dive into the picnic basket because it’s hours past meal time and we’re STILL in the desert where it’s never supposed to rain.
And speaking of cleanliness, because I usually keep my travel bag on the floor at my feet, cramping my space, I want my minimal leg space to be recently vacuumed, so I can take off my shoes if I want to. That’s not too much to ask, and I promise to have clean feet and socks.
Second, to soothe my retiree’s crickitiness, I must have my sciatica cushion. It’s my new constant driving companion. I don’t care about pillows or blankets in the car, but without my grown-up booster seat, I’m shifting and groaning and propping my feet on the dash like some teenage mountain girl in a pickup truck, pretty much what I want to do when I’m crammed into an economy airline seat. Adding this puffy weird-shaped pillow under my backside has increased my passenger and driving stamina by hours. I just have to remember to aim it in the right direction.
Third, having my phone is not mandatory, but it is beneficial for everyone in the car. I usually travel with a trusty tote bag or obscenely loud pink and orange polka-dotted backpack stuffed with a map and highlighter, word searches, charging cords and bricks, binoculars, a book or two, and my iPad or Macbook. But if I also have my phone, I can contribute to the mental well-being of all my fellow travelers through my silence. Without it, I tend to ask too many questions, eventually annoying everyone, including the driver. My kids will testify to this.
With it, I’m kept busy but also happy to Yelp for the next hometown diner, research a random question related to the landscape, or even use my Kindle app to pass the time in blissful silence, happily ignoring any noise and commotion inside the vehicle. My kids will testify to this, too.
Having the phone camera handy is also a plus. You never know what interesting vista might appear inside or outside the car.
If we have a child traveling with us, I can also set a timer for her iPad use, or I’ll likely forget as I get lost in my latest read. Not that she’d mind.
Then there’s the opportunity a phone provides to catch up with family and friends and give them updates on our adventure via emails and texts, and if I’ve run out of reading material, I can take advantage of an online sale and schedule home delivery for the day we return. I might even write a blog post.
In addition to these needs, the right driver is equally important for my automobile travel success. The fundamental issue is that I have to feel safe with the person behind the wheel. After all, my attention is often diverted from the road. This probably should rank higher on the overall list, but my approved chauffeur list is already short, hence the lower placement. Safety elements include the following considerations: speed, vehicle spacing, and driving temperament.
Minimal speeding is permissible— 7 mph over the limit is acceptable to me. What’s just as important, though, is that the driver must observe the Drivers’ Ed rule of following one car length behind a vehicle for every ten miles per hour of speed. My Spousie can testify that this is a harangueable offense and one best not messed with.
Along those lines, the driver can’t be a hothead who takes any car that passes as a personal affront. They must also take direction well—when I do look up and notice something potentially dangerous—and not argue with the Waze lady. Oh, and not use knees instead of hands to drive.
I’m really pretty easy going about drivers; I don’t know why so many haven’t make the cut.
Now, if I’m the driver, different requirements are on the list for a successful car trip. Having satellite radio available is super handy and always makes for a better trip. It's so much faster than flipping through numerous music or video choices that I’d never care for on the airplane’s seatback— if they’re even available. In the car, I’ve already preset my choices, so there’s no time wasted browsing. And using my driver’s prerogative, I can gradually switch from Spousie’s country station or news to ‘70’s pop, Broadway hits, and then Spa music, incrementally sending him to sleep in the passenger seat, so he’ll feel refreshed and be champing at the bit to drive again in less than an hour.
Sadly, I’ll admit that having a GPS app is also pretty critical, especially when my travel partner is snoozing. Or when I’m traveling with friends and following or contributing to conversations. I love an accurate map, but I mean, I wouldn’t want to miss a turn or a major landmark like the Mississippi River or something.
Lastly, a constant source of hydration makes car travel so much better. I can have my choice of beverage, at a reasonable price, whenever I want, if I’ve packed a cooler beforehand. My travel-hungry tummy will be full, and my hands will stay out of the GORP bag. Yes, it’s true that this criterion will require more frequent stops, and sometimes you can’t guarantee clean facilities, but that’s never the case in an airplane anyway, once the men have started to trot up the aisle.
Constantly sipping from a water bottle or coffee cup also forces opportunities to stretch my legs. Walking through a truck stop and surveying the slight variations in shot glasses from state to state and Mexican poncho patterns sure beats having to climb over people in your row and waddle down the airplane aisle expecting to be pitched into some unsuspecting passenger’s lap.
Yes, having the opportunity to stop at a scenic overlook that blows our minds and to get off the interstate to check out a sleepy town that time left behind, to try out a locally acclaimed podunk diner, and to watch the pines turn to scrub at ground level makes taking a road trip a delightful change of pace from the constant rush and hassle of flying.
And spending time with the ones I love while we explore this great country is always a win.
Even if my nose is often stuck in a book.
